So this weekend was spent in Chattanooga at a funeral. I've lost three grandparents and yall know how horrible any death feels and what a toll it takes on your heart, body, and mind. It was a horrible, "part of me gone" type feeling every time I lost a grandparent. And while we are never ever programed to be "ready" for someone to die, and I hope this doesn't sound harsh, it does ease some of the pain knowing they had a long happy life full of memories and experiences. But when someone young that hasn't even tasted what life has to offer dies, it's a feeling all together different. I have never lost anyone like Kaetlyn before. She was 17.
She stayed with us at our house during Memphis in May and the memories of her there are still so fresh and real to me. (She's in the group shot of my Music Fest post from May 14th)She was obsessed with this black and gold sparkle eyeliner I had and she used it every day of music fest. There were questions about which outfit to wear, if she could borrow a belt, if we drink coffee in the mornings, how it was to be out on our own..... We stayed up late talking about boys, crushes, makeup and other very obviously "girl" talk. And I remember talking with her thinking, "This girl is really cool. I feel drawn to her. She is a really 'wise for her age' soul." It was the first time Tina and I had actually gotten to spend real time around her when she was no longer a little girl with what seemed to be a greater gap in age between us. I remember her being here so perfectly. And now she is just.....gone. I've read the thank you card she sent us over and over. I can't imagine how her parents must feel. They have her room, all the little things around the house that she used, meeting books that she studied, clothes that still smell like her, things she left on her floor, makeup on her dresser she had put on the morning of the accident, and just tons of reminders that she was just there, things that she will no longer touch, hold or use. What do you do with it all? Do you leave it the way she did?
It just all seems so surreal........
5 comments:
That is so awful! I can't imagine what her parents must feel like...so horribly tragic for someone so young. So it was an accident? Wow. No preparing for such a thing.
Without Jehovah, how on earth would we make it?
Heart. Breaks.
I highly agree with you Moose. She definitely had an old soul (even thought I am sure that is somehow referring to reincarnation and therefore pagan, but I still like it and will continue to use it).
Of the three that stayed with us that weekend she was certainly the one I felt was a kindred spirit. (Thank you Anne).
It is so very strange. She is just gone. Awful. But she was an amazing girl. And certainly in Jehovah's memory. (And every one else's that had the joy of knowing her).
Ashley - Yeah, a car accident. She had just come from cleaning her granpa's house. And yeah, if there was no hope, I have no idea.....
Tina - yup yeesh :(
She was such a pretty thing too...
:( (Not that it would be any less sad were she not but, you know...)
I remember meeting her when she was a sweet little curly haired girl, 3 at the oldest. We were at their house which I very vividly remember. I remember us all being in their living room with their floral sofa and her being in there with us all and I remember how cute she was. I can't imagine how her family must feel. My heart just aches for them. It makes me feel so guilty for being so sad over saying goodbye to all of my pets, Rhe & O, and my old house. I can't imagine the saddness that comes from your child dying. It makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
And you are right, it is an all together different feeling when someone young dies. I was at a funeral a couple of weeks ago where an older sister died. The brother read the scripture at Ecc 7:1, where it says that the day of death is better than the day of birth. And then he brought out the end of that scripture, which I never thought of before, it says, "the one alive should take it to his heart". It is different taking it to your heart when someone dies that has had a long life and dies of natural causes. But taking it to your heart when someone dies tragically and so suddenly when they are young is a whole different story. It REALLY makes you think how short life can be and where you are in your own life if something happened to you. I know it really has made me reflect on mine.
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