Cold Water Pulsing

All I have is what's racing through my head and it drives me up these colorless walls
Listening to voices telling me what I need to think and trying my best not to crawl

Cold water burns my veins like the hot that once flowed effortlessly and free
Remembering holding your hands and kissing your mouth as you say how much you need me

Demoted to a position I never would have dreampt pursuing on my own
This inchoate love already drilled deep and fixed within these bones

I am better at being on my own for I can't give all of something that's incomplete
Thrown from your window, nothing could break my fall to the concrete

Now everything is fine and new, and we carry on like wounds were never cut
But my sutured soul reminds me of the purulent remains still festering deep in my gut

I'll talk to you and pretend the things you say don't hurt, while I reiterate my "tough girl face"
I try to keep elation at bay, because reality will always come back to put me in my place