Well, after:
1)just and I mean just discussing in class the effects of Vicodin and me opening my fat trap to say that I'd never had any prescribed to me for any reason
2) bragging openly about having never broken a bone(except my collar bone(clavicle-YES! I have learned something in school!) when I was a wee moose)
3) secretly being envious of anyone that broke a limb in school that got to get a "cool" cast that people could sign and what not
and
4) thinking that getting my time was actually somewhat easy the first two months......
I broke my dang foot. And the extremely exciting story of how it happened follows. I was over at a friends house, sitting on the carpeted floor indian style, watching Grey's Anatomy, and I (stupid me) went to stand up the same way I have done for years by starting on the outside of my feet and then rolling them in to a flat position without using my hands, and heard (and um felt) my bone crack. Yes, that's right. I broke my foot standing up from the floor. So now I have this great tie dye cast on my dumb foot. I broke my 5th metatarsal and as my orthopaedic surgeon said while looking at my x-rays, I "got it good girl!" Yee haw!
So now, I am stuck at the house and I am pretty much totally reliant on everyone in my poor family(mostly poor Tina) and everyday tasks have become annoying chores. I conjured up a way of washing my hair the other day that was I'm pretty sure worse than any workout video I've ever done, especially under the influence of the healing cuckoo crack drug they've given me.And I actually got extemely excited when I was able to shave my legs. It's the small things....
I can't carry anything anywhere because I have these crutches I have to tote along with me everywhere. Going to class is one big hoot and a half. There is all this dang construction going on and they've closed off mostly all the walkways and forced us all to go a bazillion miles out of our way.(Yessssssss) I actually attempted hauling my 3 ginormo books in their big ol bag along with my purse to class the other day and had to stop and rest 4 times before reaching my final destination. On the way however, a man was rolling closer and closer to me on the walkway in a handy golf cart and proceeded to 1)not look to have any sort of handicap other than sheer laziness 2)get insanely close to me and my crutches and 3)fly past me without looking back. Chivalry pivalry....Once I finally made it to class, I was so hot and exhausted I was ready to go back home.
I've been able to use the ever so handy electric shopping carts at both the Kroger and Sams Club. I dunno if any of you have ever hooked yourself up with one of those things, but they are sweet! They move at a tortoises pace, but are quite useful.
I must say, that the most exciting part of this whole ordeal is imagining what my leg will look like when I get the cast taken off. WOOF. As a friend said last night, "It'll be like a hairy cuff on your lower leg!" Whoo hoo! :-/
6 comments:
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Oh, and sorry about your foot. heh heh.
I remember a snoopy comic where he broke his foot and proceeded to walk everywhere on his hands. Mayb you could do that! I'd love to get some footage, if you do. :)
Just realized that Snoopy is a dog and therefore, doesnt really have hands per say. But you get the general idea, right?
Haha. Indeed. That would indeed be "hand-y". Arfarfarfarf.....
I would most definitely send you footage of that, were it to happen. :) Using these dang crutches kind of makes me feel like I am using my hands to walk. When I first wake up in the mornings and reach for my crutches, the first few times I put weight on my hands it always hurts like a smurf. I guess it's like working out....the after soreness....:-/
Oh! I have however, figured out a way to carry some things for myself around the house(joy and jubilation!!) I get a smallish chair with a padded seat and rest the knee of my broken leg on it, pull the chair with my left hand, hold stuff with my right, and scoot myself around....not unlike a dog dragging it's tush on the carpet...now that I think about how it must look.... Ah. Oh well. It makes me want to do a happy dance(if only I had two good feet DOH!) being able to carry my coffee in the mornings. :)
LOL! Um that's a lovely analogy. ANytime you get to think of a dog dragging its tushis exciting. When you can apply it yourself, priceless.
And you are quite handy being that you only have the one foot. You need to get a pic of your cast and post it w/all its sweet signatures!
Good lord, I can't type well any more. I meant to say "Too bad you can't walk around to well though".
I'm retarded.
Is it true what I heard, that you perhaps have broken your other foot now? Didn't we JUST talk about this? The irony! I hope it's not true.
Post a Comment