Tuesday, May 4, 2010

For The Love Of Alanis


One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
And never done

One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Sunday, April 4, 2010

BO..GUS!!



A list of things that Brooke Hunter is just plain not OK with....in no particular order

1. Ashley furniture
I hate the crap. I hate everything it represents. I hate its constant reminder that society is going down the poopshoot. Disposable, worthless, unoriginal, crappy, scantily put together shart.

2. Failing Clinical last semester
Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. That "instructor" gave me the shaft and she knew it. I will forever feel so cheated over that class. Crappiest teacher ever, I hope to tell her that one day. And I also hope to tell her how much I appreciate what she did for me, because the instructor I have now actually teaches, is amazing, teaches me what I don't understand, is patient, and is actually preparing us for the beast that is Adult Health 1 next semester. So thank you Ms Taylor, thank you for kicking me down again and again and making me realize how important this is to me and how even more determined I now am.

3. American Idol
I know my family and a bunch of my dear friends love this show, but I hate it. To me it is the Ashley furniture of music production. Let's completely change what makes people original and unique and throw it out the window and replace it with a pre-packaged unoriginal label that will sell records. Good job, Simon. Disposable society makes me want to vomit.

4. Twilight
If I hear one more word about, see one more bumper sticker dealing with, notice one more shirt depicting Bella, vampires, werewolves, Cullens, or sparkely things that somehow relate to that show, I am going to shoot the tv. Is there not another human the wolf/fanged beasts can fight over? And are there no other books to read people? What did teenagers obsess over before this crap became so shoved down everyone's throats??

5. 93X just up and disappearing
I have my little iPod now and I have a connection in my car for it, so I never listen to the radio, but it really really ticks me off how it is just gone. I miss Crate, the traffic beeyatch, my obsessive ticket winning, calling and requesting songs, and just being able to get my '90/'00's rock/alternative on, whenever I would like to. I would listen to it at work, and I truly did enjoy the ridiculous banter that was Crate. There is not another tolerable radio station left here. I like 89.9 because at least it doesn't play the same ol' recycled crap that everybody else does. Don't even get me started on 104.5 or 99.7.....

6. Nickelback
Biggest sell out band of my time in my humble opinion. I can't understand how one band can crank out so many cheesy, lame, tell me how to live my life because I'm a dillhole that can't understand how to do it myself songs in such a short period of time. I swear, every time I do end up turning on the radio, there's flippin' Nickelback and some new crap song that all the soccer moms have gotten together to call up the River to request they play. That's enough, Nickelback.

7. Lady GaGa
I'm sorry, I just don't get it. I don't like her music, I think it's got really goofy lyrics that are like everything else these days, overproduced. And everybody is treating her like she's the biggest thing since sliced bread. I mean, isn't this exactly what Britney did a few years ago? It's just another pre-packaged hootchy girl that somehow gets labeled as different, new and refreshing. How did that slide? This leads me to my next annoyance...


8. Girl on girl action

How has this gotten so prevalent and so OK with everyone? If some straight chick wants to be edgy and fun and she is kind of losing her oomph...what to do..what to do...oh! I know! Kiss another chick or talk about kissing chicks! Heck, let's write a song about kissing chicks! That should do it. Gross. No, not cool, not ok, not different..been done before, still gross.

9. Kentucky basketball
I hate and loathe all things dealing with them. I hate Cal and his back stabbing ways. I hate how he stole half of our team and coaching staff. I hate how they are now number 2 in the nation and now the favored to win it all. I hate how we got robbed of all of our wins and yet he gets to keep his winning coaching record. I hate how KY fans feel the need to hate on us now. What the heck did we do to them aside from give them our coach and make them worth a crap??

10. Publicizing any romance of mine
Ah yes. This should be #1 on this list. I'm not a fan of being anyone's girlfriend in the first place, it makes me feel nervous and like I have to fulfill some role, which I'm not to good at, I feel like. And I hate people I hardly know to always ask for status updates if they know I am indeed in a relationship. I will tell you if there is some relevant happening that I feel you need to know about OK? And then there's the beautiful stage when the relationship is over and you still get questioned about it. Hey, how's _______ doing? When are ya'll getting married? When is he coming to see you again? Yay!

11. Facebook becoming such a huge freakin' deal
When people start cornering you at the meetings discussing their friend status with you and why you have/have not yet accepted them/if they did something to warrant being deleted as your friend, it's too far. I am currently annoyed with how big it has become and how people are making it such a huge freaking deal. It's Facebook!! I do not hate you as a person, I don't want your children to die, I don't wish any ill on you at all simply because I am no longer your Facebook friend. I simply am no longer your Facebook friend for whatever stupid reason...Probably because you started friend requesting all of my friends randomly(even ones you didn't know) or were all way to up in my grill about stuff. I will still talk to you and no, you have not offended me. The End.


12. People obsessed with my business

I have somewhat already covered this one, but this drives me nuts. In this corner there's the ones who literally laughed, snickered, and pointed at my last relationship like it was a freak show. And over here we have the ones who begin planning my wedding each time they notice I'm close to being interested in a man. There's a section for the ones who revel in any failure I come into contact with. And then ones who obviously don't like me for whatever reason, and are loving talking about anything at all going on with me. Maybe it's all in my head....

13. Man straight up living in the MED
This is just wrong. This man has literally been living there because there is nowhere to send him to. I can't understand why in the world the Med could be going broke....

14. Muvico closing
Curse you crappy economy, curse you. I loved that theater. There wasn't another that compares to it. I loved it because I could literally knock out an entire evening downtown and just stay down there, which is where I prefer to hang. Now I am forced to go to the Paradiso, which is the hangout for all pre-teens and literally every other person in Memphis. Muvico was magical because the crowd that goes to the Paradiso was scared of downtown(I can just tell these things), or perhaps just to young to get anywhere down there other than the movie theater. Gone are the wonderful days of parking in the garage, deciding on dinner at any number of restaurants there, sipping a Snake Bite at Dan McGuiness, grabbing a 12 layer candy apple and stuffing it into my purse to sneak it into the theater, getting my student discount that brought my grand total for my ticket to a beautiful 6 dollars and 50 cents, chancing running into one of the Memphis Tigers, because that was there theater of choice too, and then coming out of the movie and being able to hang out at the Saucer. :(

15. Concerts at the FedEx Forum
I have given the Forum concerts many a chance, but after seeing John Mayer there the other night, I came to an official decision on the matter. I just don't like concerts there. It's too big and doesn't have the elements that I love about concerts, those being the intimacy of a small occasion, being able to dance and shake and wave my hands if I want, and being close to the band. No guards kicking people to the back if they come to stand near the front, no people getting annoyed with me standing up the whole time, no one throwing cans at my head if I dance(yes, this actually happened once). Just me and my dancing, the tight crowd, frequent shifts in standing positions, and the band in all it's raw glory.

16. Size 10 1/2 shoes
This is my true size and it is the one size that is treated like a freak show. It just doesn't exist except on special order or very rare brands. You can have a half size in any of the other sizes, but once you get past a 10, your foot instantly just goes up a whole size apparently. It's magical. So I am left with shoes that are ever so slightly small or floppy enough that I have to get those little space filling thingies. Fun. Fun.

17. Only remembering the good things
Why do I tend to do this with relationships? I always find it so easy to recall how he could make me laugh and things that made us laugh together, great times I had with him, beautiful and sweet things he said to me that had never fallen on my calloused ears before, how good he always smelled, how wonderful it felt to simply be next to him, the goofy ways we answered the phone when the other called, how I felt like the only girl in the world that had ever truly mattered to him, happy songs that always made him think of me, and songs that I loved so much because they made me think of him. I can't seem to remember the times he didn't laugh at what I found hilarious, really bad times I had with him, mean things that he could have told me in a much nicer way or that were actually not necessary to mention in the first place, and that I had never really dealt with before, how he sometimes smelled like a dirty sock because everyone does every now and again, how bad it felt to be next to him when I could sense that he no longer wanted me there, the ways he answered the phone when he was busy with something else or had something better to do, his other girls that felt the same way at one time, or songs that actually applied to our romance and how screwed up it actually was, but I had labeled as bitter or glass half empty. I wish I could revamp my stupid replay button in my head.

18. People treating me like I don't know what I'm doing at my job simply because I'm a woman
Yes, I am indeed here to repair your furniture, I am actually quite knowledgeable and experienced at what I do, I am very adept at handling power tools, and I am a woman. No, I didn't just start doing this yesterday, I do not have to have a man to help me finish your furniture, and just because you were born with a Y chromosome does not mean you are automatically skilled at repairing furniture if you "just had the right tools, glues, and 'paint.'" Do I look like a wilted little flower??

Monday, March 8, 2010

Drew Baylor: "I'm fine."






If it wasn't this... it'd be something else.
I thought I would take this time to post some quotes from my favorite movie, Elizabethtown, well, just because.

It's a heck of a place to find yourself

Drew Baylor: I'm gonna have to call you back...
Heather Baylor: Okay, just dial HELL and i'll answer.

Hollie Baylor: All forward motion counts.

Drew Baylor: There's a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is merely the absence of success. Any fool can achieve failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of epic proportions. A fiasco is a folk tale told to others to make other people feel more alive because it didn't happen to them.

Hollie Baylor: It takes time to be funny. It takes time to extract joy from life.

Drew Baylor: I've just recently decided that the things we know aren't black and white.

Chuck Hasboro: Okay, it's all about family bro.
Drew Baylor: Thank you, Chuck.

Drew Baylor: Because we have a moment here, let me tell you that I have recently become a secret connoisseur of 'last looks'. You know the way people look at you when they believe it's for the last time? I've started collecting these looks.

Claire Colburn: I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened.

Claire Colburn: Sadness is easier because its surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free.

Claire Colburn: I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember.

Claire Colburn: So you failed. Alright you really failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You think I care about that? I do understand. You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling.

Jessie Baylor: I teach my kids about the things that really matter. I will teach them about Abraham Lincoln and Ronnie Van Zandt, because they are equally important in my house.

If it wasn't this... it'd be something else.

Claire Colburn: We are intrepid. We carry on.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Cold Water Pulsing

All I have is what's racing through my head and it drives me up these colorless walls
Listening to voices telling me what I need to think and trying my best not to crawl

Cold water burns my veins like the hot that once flowed effortlessly and free
Remembering holding your hands and kissing your mouth as you say how much you need me

Demoted to a position I never would have dreampt pursuing on my own
This inchoate love already drilled deep and fixed within these bones

I am better at being on my own for I can't give all of something that's incomplete
Thrown from your window, nothing could break my fall to the concrete

Now everything is fine and new, and we carry on like wounds were never cut
But my sutured soul reminds me of the purulent remains still festering deep in my gut

I'll talk to you and pretend the things you say don't hurt, while I reiterate my "tough girl face"
I try to keep elation at bay, because reality will always come back to put me in my place

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Flip Flopped in Two






















I have to get another phone because I fell asleep with mine after a lonnnng and late night trip back from Kentucky over the weekend. And alas, my phone broke in half, the flip part literally broke right off. So I still have a screen, which means I can text. And there is a little bitty part of the flip left which allows me to "close" the phone so that it doesn't dial random people and what not. I can still take calls as long as I have them on speaker phone. But today I'm gonna try to go and get another phone. Anywho, you know how this works. Now I have to take note of my favorite saved texts that will be gone forever once I get my new phone, so here goes....




You gotta make a move before you figure that one out
Oct 27, 2009

You you
Oct 27,2009

You do
Oct 27,2009

No sleep for me tonite and my @** hurts!
Nov 20, 2009 2:54am

Me too! Ok good night i will see u in the morning-oh how long does our conversation have to be?
Nov 20, 2009 2:57am

How spiritual are you? We're having breakfast for Jesus!
Dec. 12, 2009

This is the elusive jules @ my cleaning job...1st time 2 nt run away frm me. But I swear shes 'mean muggin' me...isnt that a snarl? Or maybe just her elvis impersonation.
Dec. 21, 2009

This pics worth a million words.
Dec. 30, 2009

I got the saggy eye..i hate mornings, but laying next to Nanna makes it better. Poppa wants to know if u got his message last nite?
Jan. 3, 2010

Youre like a bag of chips and more
Jan. 6, 2010

Tom Cruise' wife in valkyrie reminds me of you
Jan 9, 2010

I wrapped it up about 10 min ago. Its already bled through. I need nursey brookey poo. :(
Jan. 11, 2010

Bout time ultra amazing lady friend of mine.
Jan. 14, 2010

lol im sry, good morning. In eng-i missed you, alot.
Jan. 14, 2010

Youre one fine girly
Jan. 14, 2010

My cats are gay lovers..fat gay lovers...
Jan. 14, 2010

1)Reminds me of the dissapointment in ur voice 2)he says my woman 3)the sky is bluer when ur around
Jan. 16,2010

God i miss u so much.
Jan. 17, 2010

"C the months they dnt matter, its the days i cnt take. When the hrs move to min's and im sec's away."
Jan. 17, 2010

Good morn.
Jan. 18, 2010

Have you read the semi new brochure on the Bible yet?
Jan. 26, 2010
Me either...sounds like we need some buddy system action
Jan. 26, 2010

I love talking to you as soon as i can. Having you to talk to makes getting started easier.
Jan. 28, 2010

Look familiar?
Feb. 3, 2010

My tuesday drummer boy get up
Feb. 9, 2010

"When she smiles at me, im gonna take my chance."
Feb. 17, 2010

Tiger apologized..so were back together..:)
Feb. 19, 2010

You read about Maggot wound treatment? Think it will fly on my skills test if I bring some maggots and slap 'em on my manaquine?
Feb. 22, 2010

Poor moose. Its good for you. You'll be a smart globe trottin moose.
Feb. 22, 2010

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Odious and Asinine


I love the assurance of the sunrise, the sunset that makes it hide
I love the warmth it brings me, but happy when the heat goes inside

I love watching rain,hearing thunder,and seeing the lightning glow
I love being inside where I can be warm and change out of all my wet clothes

I love having you beside me always, trusting it will never change
I love you to see you running away happy, my norm once again rearranged

I love the days when I'm happy, try to forget the ones when I'm sad
I love you so much on your good days and I'll be right beside you when they're bad

I love when friends surround me and make me feel like life is grand
I love being assured that you need me, like when you take hold of my hand

But I hate when I feel like it's always dark and the sun won't ever shine again
And when the thunder shocks me and the rain has soaked through to my skin

I hate feeling like you used me and feeling that I'll never truly trust
And I hate you for leaving me alone as I curse your wanderlust

I hate when I feel like I'm friendless and no one truly understands who I am
And knowing that I'm being judged by my skeletons and haunted by my own engrams

I hate yet love when you call me and want me to always be there for you
I hate when I really need someone, that you always have better things to do

I hate how you leave me feeling low and when my thoughts spin out of control
And I hate when I never realize that I'm bleeding from your bullet holes

I truly love some things that are broken and I know some just aren't worth fighting for
I hate some doors that were opened and some friends that left me lying scarred on the floor

I love feeling like I can beat all this and that nothing will bring me down
I hate feeling like that's just a line that I use when pain once again comes around

-ABH-

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I'm Addicted
































Tina and I went to NY for about a week a few months ago and I was sooo not ready to come home. I love that place so much, it's just magical. This was the first time we had been in the Summer since I was a very little girl and I don't hardly remember the trip. The weather could not have been any more wonderful for this go round. Everyone had told us how it was either scorching hot or rainy always. Well, as we were told, we brought the sunshine with us and had a solid week of sunshine and low Summer temps. Bee-u-ti-ful!!! Tina was a beast with the subway map as usual and we were able to do tons of stuff we wanted. We got to tour the Guggenheim which was incredible. I saw original drawings from Frank Llyod Wright's designs, Van Gogh, Chagal, Monet, De Gas and so on. We also toured the Natural History Museum, where we had our picture made with "DUMB DUMB, YOU GOT GUM GUM?" Yes, we were the only grownups waiting in line for our picture opportunity but alas, we kicked our shame to the back burner and waited our turn like the nice little school children around us. I took various pictures of Tina in front of different scenes in the museum that made it look like she was in them. We got to stay in Walkill, Bethel for the weekend and that was fabulous as usual. Omar and Rheanna are a hoot and yes, I got to play rockband again. YEE HAW! It was hilarious because all their neighbors were sticking their heads out their doors and looking down the hall trying to figure out what the heck was going on. Must purchase a Wii. And I miss O and Rhe... Tina mapped out the location of every single H&M and we were able to visit more than one, including the three story one(angels flew by and began to sing while throwing rose petals.)We also ate at Amici's and enjoyed Sangria and squid ink tinted noodles. I got to haggle with more than a few hardcore Chinatown mafia members and was able to walk away with what I wanted, at the price I wanted and leaving them a bit frustrated and me with a rush similar to, I'm sure, leaping off the Statue of Liberty with parachute attached.

Ground Zero was coming along quite nicely and as Mikey G was our tour guide for the evening, I decided to take this shot of the three of us in front of the progress. But the most amazing part of the trip I have to say was our last day. It was amazing amounts of fun. Towards the end of the day, Tina says, "Hey we should go by the Waldorf and look around," to which I was of course happy to do. So Michael drives us over there and we park and are looking at it's magicalness. Well, I am going on and on about how much I love this place and how wonderful it is, even though Tina has heard this a million times, and we start to talk about the movie Serendipity and I mention it would be cool to have my picture made on the floor where the movie was filmed. So Tina says that we should ask the front desk because they would probably know which floor it was. So she goes up to the desk and says, "I have a reservation for Christina Hunter." I was mortified thinking she was just being goofy. I was wondering what in the heck she was doing and how she thought she could get away with this. Well, the lady, much to my amazement, doesn't look at her like she's a crazy hole and hands her two room keys. I still could not believe that she had actually gotten a room there, there must be some mistake. But alas, she handed me one and said, "Are you ready to go drop off our bags at our room here at the Waldorf Astoria??" I nearly had a heart attack in the lobby. I was acting like a 5 year old on a ridiculous sugar high. I was jumping and hollering and couldn't stop laughing. She had told me that she had gotten me something for getting in to nursing school and for having my tonsils taken out but I could not figure out what in the world it was. It was the coolest thing ever, I don't know that I've ever been that excited. I guess it rubbed off because on the way back to the car to get our bags, Michael was doing grass angels on Park Avenue. It was hilarious. So we went back to the room and then decided to go to Serendipity to end our magical evening and it was delicious and filled with flaming gay men as usual. So once we were stuffed with Frozen hot chocolate and Peanut butter humble pie, he dropped us off at the Waldorf and Tina and I went to our room where I took a piping hot bath in the splendifirous tub and then wrapped myself in the fluffy, soft, wonderfully cuddly bath robe.

So I am officially addicted to NY. There is something that is just so fabulous about it. It's the only place I ever want to go on vacation to. There is just so much to do and I miss O and Rhe like craziness. I can't wait to see them in MO soon!! Anywho, there you have it, I'm an NY junkie and I don't plan on getting over my addiction anytime soon. :)

My Random Wish List:

  • 18 Til I Die sterling silver ring-BryanAdams.com
  • A simple, wooden, at least 22 stringed harp
  • Canvas Kings Men's Shoe - Gray/Red size 8 www.shopelvis.com Item#EPAM0931
  • Double Hearts Belt Buckle www.shopelvis.com
  • Ladies purple hidden temple shirt-Lg-www.templeshirts.com
  • Piano Music Books:The Fray-How To Save a Life, Coldplay-X&Y, Mat Kearney-Nothing Left To Lose, Enya-A Day Without Rain, Lifehouse, John Mayer
  • www.allposters.com item #1616854 11x14
  • www.shopelvis.com Elvis IS Silhouette iPod case item#EPAM0727